Thursday 03/14/2002 8:58:44pm Joke!

Wednesday 09/05/2001 4:50:40pm Joke! A Jewish father was concerned about his son who was about a year away from his Bar Mitzvah but was sorely lacking in his knowledge of the Jewish faith. To remedy this, he sent his son to Israel to experience his heritage. A year later the young man returned home. "Father, thank you for sending me to the land of our Fathers," the son said. "It was wonderful and enlightening; however, I must confess that while in Israel I converted to Christianity." "Oi vey," replied the father, "what have I done?" So in the tradition of the patriarchs, he went to his best friend and sought his advice and solace. "It is amazing that you should come to me," stated his friend, "I, too, sent my son to Israel, and he returned a Christian." So in the tradition of the patriarchs they went to the Rabbi. "It is amazing that you should come to me," stated the Rabbi, "I, too, sent my son to Israel, and he returned a Christian. What is happening to our sons?" "Brothers, we must take this to the Lord," said the Rabbi. They fell to their knees and began to wail and pour out their hearts to the Almighty. As they prayed, the clouds opened, and a mighty voice stated, "Amazing that you should come to Me. I, too, sent My Son to Israel...

Tuesday 07/17/2001 3:01:42am Joke! Hamlet's Soliloquy by William Shakespeare To be, or not to be: that is the question; Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer The slings and arrows of outrageous fortune, Or to take arms against a sea of troubles, And by opposing end them. To die; to sleep; No more; and by a sleep to say we end The heartache and the thousand natural shocks That flesh is heir to -- 'tis a consummation Devoutly to be wish'd. To die; to sleep; To sleep? Perchance to dream! Ay, there's the rub; For in that sleep of death what dreams may come When we have shuffled off this mortal coil, Must give us pause. There's the respect That makes calamity of so long life. Yeshivish Translation by Shaya Eisen You can kleir azoi: to be, or chalila, fahkert. Whether it's eppis more chashuv to be soivel yisurim That shrekliche mazel foders Or if it's an eitzah to be moiche keneged a velt of tzoris And al yedei zeh be meakev them; to be niftar; to chap a shluf; Shoin; and pshat is we end The agmas nefesh and the thousand natural klops That gashmius is noite to - 'Tis a tachlis Someone might daven for. To die; to shluf; To chap a shluf? Efsher to dream! Takeh, that's the stira; For in that nitzchiyusdike shluf there's a shaila on The teva of the chaloimos that would come Once we have become potur from this tzudreita gashmius. This shafs a chiyuv to be oimed on a chakira. This sofek is a zach That makes this kvetsched out life so ee-geshmak.

Tuesday 07/17/2001 2:51:13am Joke! Moishe walks into a post office in Chelm to send a package to his wife. The postmaster says "This package is too heavy. You'll need another stamp." Moishe replies "And that should make it lighter?!"

Thursday 07/12/2001 2:01:10am Joke! Q. What do you do when a doctoral candidate in philosophy rings your door bell? A. Pay him for the pizza!

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