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Wednesday 09/10/2003 1:38:13am
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| Name: |
Amelia |
| E-Mail: |
ajperry@mail.utexas.edu |
| Homepage Title: |
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| Homepage URL: |
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| Referred By: |
Just Surfed In |
| Location: |
Austin, Texas |
| Comments: |
AN OPEN LETTER TO THE COMMUNITY
Dear All,
Please love Katie. She’s just an poor Catholic schoolgirl, away from home for the first time ever. She’s really rather innocent (well, we won’t talk about her drinking cheerleaders under the table) and could use some friends. Oh, and just a bit of advice: don’t fuck with her. She doesn’t like that. I know from experience that serious bodily harm is to be expected if you touch her neck.
Katie likes water. She especially likes the part where you can drown other, weaker people.
Katie may work out too much. But it’s all part of The Plan (see people, drowning the weak). Her favorite color is pink. Lord knows she’s straight, what will her, ahem, recent escapades.
Katie doesn’t understand some of your local slang. Words like “yontu,” “hozyermama,” and "nuttentoit” are not yet part of her vocabulary. She does, however, know the words “y’all” and “Natty Light.” She may, at times, need a quick translation. Some of your local customs are, well, unusual at best. She won’t understand line dancing to rap, nor will she truly understand the art of cow tipping.
Please try to make sure she arrives at class reasonably sober (hungover would be better) and on time, preferably.
Thanks, Y’all.
Kate’s Twin, the Longhorn. |
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