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I always knew there was something wrong with Bert. I think he used some sort of subliminal mind control techniques.
After watching Sesame Street, whenever Bert was on, I would take my Oscar the Grouch and use him to try and suffocate my little sister repeating 'I'll give you Grouch!'
I can't repeat here the devastation I wreaked on my life-size Big Bird doll, and what I made it do to me with it's massive beak. I still feel the shame.
Luckily, I am now in therapy to help me come to terms with the fact that this violent, sexual behaviour was the result of Bert's Evil. It wasn't my fault. I was not responsible. Bert was. Bert did it.
I can now look at my daughter's cuddly Cookie Monster and not feel like I want to tear off it's head, or worse!!
This site has my heartfelt gratitude, for bringing me back from BertHell.
xx |
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