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New FDA Warning Labels on Beer:
  1. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the hell happened to your bra.

  2. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering when you are not.

  3. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like a retard.

  4. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell your friends over and over again that you love them.

  5. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to think you can sing.

  6. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that ex-lovers are really dying for you to telephone them at four in the morning.

  7. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you can logically converse with other members of the opposite sex without spitting.

  8. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you have mystical Kung Fu powers, resulting in you getting your ass kicked.

  9. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to roll over in the morning and see something really scary.

  10. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is the leading cause of inexplicable rug burns on the forehead.