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Um...:
  1. Give a monkey a brain and he'll swear he's the center of the universe.
  2. It feels great to wake up and not know what day it is, doesn't it?
  3. Time's fun when you're having flies
  4. Atheists are people who have no invisible means of support
  5. Think of hummingbirds as the flying penises of flowers
  6. DEATH TO ALL FANATICS!!!
  7. If you can read this, you're in range.
  8. The following sentence is true. The previous sentence was false.
  9. For those of you without hope, we have rooms with color TV, cable and air conditioning
  10. Even now, your loved ones are plotting against you.