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Advice To Ignore: Always look a man in the eye when stealing his pants. Never forget the things you can't remember. Be all you can be. Start gaining weight. If you ever get lost in life, just rename the street you're on. Remember the wisdom of children: be deathly afraid of the unfamiliar, be selfish and throw tantrums when you don't get what you want. If you ever find yourself working too hard, remember, you need money to buy the newest version of Windows. Lie frequently: roses grow much better with a lot of manure. The best things in life are not free, but in fact so expensive that you will go into massive debt for 30 years. If you stop and smell the roses, you might get pricked by a thorn. So, just buy some rose-scented air freshener and spray it in your house. No man ever died saying "I wish I had taken up stamp collecting."