IT WORKS It works - it really does. ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p. 88 When I got sober I intitially had faith only in the program of Alcoholics Anonymous. Desperation and fear kept me sober (and maybe a caring and/or tough sponsor helped!). Faith in a Higher Power came much later. This faith came slowly at first, after I began listening to others share at meetings about their experiences- experiences that I had never faced sober, but that they were facing with strength from a Higher Power. In time, I learned that a Higher Power- a faith that works under all conditions- is possible. Today this faith, plus the honesty, open-mindedness and willingness to work the Steps of the program, gives me the serenity that I seek. It works- it really does!
THE IDEA OF FAITH Do not let any prejudice you may have against spiritual terms deter you from honestly asking yourself what they mean to you. ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p. 47 The idea of faith is a very large chunk to swallow when fear, doubt and anger abound in and around me. Sometimes just the idea of doing something different, something I am not accustomed to doing, can eventually become an act of faith if I do it regularly, and do it without debating whether it*s the right thing to do. When a bad day comes along and everything is going wrong, a meeting or a talk with another drunk often distracts me just enough to persuade me that everything is not quite as impossible, as overwelming as I had thought. In the same way, going to a meeting or talking to a fellow alcoholic are acts of faith; I believe I*m arresting my disease. These are ways I slowly move toward faith in a Higher Power.
THE KEY IS WILLINGNESS Once we have placed the key of willingness in the lock and have the door ever so slightly open, we find that we can always open it some more. Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions, p. 35 The willingness to give up my pride and self-will to a Power greater than myself has proved to be the only ingredient absolutely necessary to solve all the problems today. Even the smallest amount of willingness, if sincere, is sufficient to allow God to enter and take control over any problem, pain, or obsession. My level of comfort is in direct relation to the degree of willingness I possess at any given moment to give up my self-will, and allow God*s will to be manifested in my life. With the key of willingness, my worries and fears are powerfully transformed into serenity.
SURRENDERING SELF-WILL Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him. Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions, p. 34 No matter how much one wishes to try, exactly how can one turn his own will and his own life over to the care of whatever God he thinks there is? In my search for the answer to this question, I became aware of the wisdom with which it was written: that this is a two-part step. I could see many times where I should have died, or at least been injured, during my previous style of living, and it never happened. Someone, or something, was looking after me. I choose to believe my life has always been in God*s care. He alone controls the number of days I will be granted until physical death. The matter of will (self-will or God*s will) is the more difficult part of the step for me. It is only when I have experienced enough emotional pain, through failed attempts to fix myself, that I become willing to surrender to God*s will for my life. Surrender is like the calm after the storm. When my will is in line with God*s will for me, there is peace within.
BUILDING A NEW LIFE We feel a man is unthinking when he says sobriety is enough. ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p. 82 When I reflect on Step Nine, I see that physical sobriety must be enough for me. I need to remember the hopelessness I felt before I found sobriety, and how I was willing to go to any lengths for it. Physical sobriety is not enough for those around me, however, since I must see that God*s gift is used to build a new life for my family and loved ones. Just as importantly, I must be available to help others who want the A.A. way of life. I ask God to help me share the gift of sobriety so that its benefits may be shown to those I know and love. Copyright 1990 ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS WORLD SERVICES, INC.
But there was always the curious mental phenomenon that parallel with our sound reasoning there inevitably ran some insanely trivial excuse for taking the first drink. Our sound reasoning failed to hold us in check. The insane idea won out. Next day we would ask ourselves, in all earnestness and sincerity, how it could have happened.
A BEAUTIFUL POEM: I asked God to take away my habit.God said, No. It is not for me to take away, but for you to give it up. I asked God to make my handicapped child whole. God said, No. His spirit is whole, his body is only temporary. I asked God to grant me patience. God said, No. Patience is a byproduct of tribulations; it isn*t granted, it is learned. I asked God to give me happiness. God said, No. I give you blessings; Happiness is up to you. I asked God to spare me pain. God said, No.Suffering draws you apart from worldly cares and brings you closer to me. I asked God to make my spirit grow. God said, No. You must grow on your own! but, I will prune you to make you fruitful. I asked God for all things that I might enjoy life. God said, No. I will give you life, so that you may enjoy all things. I ask God to help me LOVE others, as much as He loves me. God said...Ahhhh, finally you have the idea.
I was to test my thinking by the new God-consciousness within. Common sense would thus become uncommon sense. I was to sit quietly when in doubt, asking only for direction and strength to meet my problems as He would have me. Never was I to pray for myself, except as my requests bore on my usefulness to others. Then only might I expect to receive. But that would be in great measure.
In meditation, we ask God what we should do about each specific matter. The right answer will come, if we want it.
My name is Kevin, and personally, I don*t care whether people are "real" alcoholics or not. What I care about is whether people with this affliction can be relieved of their suffering. I just today observed, very closely, some of that suffering and it*s a very, very ugly and painful thing. Debates about "how to do it" just don*t seem very important in the "real" world.
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