Two Aerials meet on a roof - fall in love - get married The ceremony was rubbish but the Reception was Brilliant.
"Doc, I can't stop singing the green green grass of home".... "That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome".... "Is it common?" ...."It's not unusual."
A guy walks into the psychiatrist wearing only clingfilm for shorts. The shrink says, "Well, I can clearly see you're nuts."
A man takes his Rottweiler to the vet. "My dog's cross-eyed, is there anything you can do for him? " ...."Well," says the vet, "let's have a look at him" So he picks the dog up and examines his eyes, then checks his teeth. Finally, he says "I'm going to have to put him down." ...."What? Because he's cross-eyed?"...."No, because he's really heavy"
Guy goes into the doctor's ...."Doc, I've got a cricket ball stuck up my backside ...."How's that?" ...."Don't you start"
"Doctor, I can't pronounce my F's, T's and H's." ...."Well you can't say fairer than that then"
So I went to the dentist.....He said "Say Aaah."....I said "Why?" ....He said "My dog's died.'"
Apparently, 1 in 5 people in the world are Chinese. And there are 5 people in my family, so it must be one of them. It's either my mum or my dad. Or my older brother Colin. Or my younger brother Ho-Cha-Chu. But I think it's Colin.
Now, most dentist's chairs go up and down, don't they? The one I was in went back and forwards. I thought 'This is unusual'. And the dentist said to me 'Mr Cooper, get out of the filing cabinet.'
Two fat blokes in a pub, one says to the other "your round." The other one says "so are you, you fat bast**d!"
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