"Any intelligent fool can make things bigger, more complex, and more violent. It takes a touch of genius -- and a lot of courage -- to move in the opposite direction."-- Albert Einstein
"I speak twelve languages -- English is the bestest."-- Stefan Bergman
"We spend the first twelve months of our children's lives teaching them to walk and talk and the next twelve years telling them to sit down and shut up."-- Phyllis Diller
"I won't say ours was a tough school, but we had our own coroner. We used to write essays like 'What I'm going to be if I grow up'."-- Lenny Bruce
"My father wanted me to have all the educational opportunities he never had, so he sent me to a girls' school."-- Jack Herbert
"Educational television should be absolutely forbidden. It can only lead to unreasonable disappointment when your child discovers that the letters of the alphabet do not leap up out of books and dance around with royal-blue chickens."-- Fran Lebowitz
"Your manuscript is both good and original; but the part that is good is not original, and the part that is original is not good."-- Samuel Johnson
"If you steal from one author, it's plagiarism; if you steal from many, it's research."-- Wilson Mizner
"My brother-in-law wrote an unusual murder story. The victim got killed by a man from another book."-- Robert Sylvester
"If you can't annoy somebody there is little point in writing."-- Kingsley Amis
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